Motivation, oh, Motivation!

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Motivation, oh, motivation. Am I the only one who’s suffering from lack of motivation? Am I? Am I?

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Thinking about it now, I just realized how sad it is to not have any motivation at all. Well, I argue with myself at times like “But, I go to work” or “But I am responsible”. Does that mean that I am motivated? Well, yes and no. Or perhaps, maybe? Sure, I go to work. But that is because I HAVE to work or else, we won’t survive in this country. I can’t just be a couch potato and do nothing, right? Sure, I “MAY” seem responsible to most people, but that’s because I HAVE to be responsible for myself and my husband and our bills, etc. I’m a freakin’ adult already and married. I can’t just rely on my parents now that I’m married, right? Ahh, adulting is hard, lol.

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Meh. Sometimes it’s easy for me to get motivated, but most of the time? I’m just on auto-pilot mode. (Man, this is sad.)

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Now you might be thinking and wondering why I posted this on the first place. It’s simple. I AM RANTING, lol. And no, I’m not complaining. This is me, trying to instill discipline on myself.

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Why motivation, out of all the things I can talk about today, right? Well, I’m trying to motivate myself to talk about motivation. *winks*

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Last weekend, me and my husband went to my best friend’s (Connie) house for her dad’s birthday. (By the way, her dad is no longer with us, but they still celebrated his birthday to commemorate him.) A lot of people came and a prayer was made for him. We got there at around 2:30 pm (we woke up late that day >.< ) and came inside. A few minutes later, another visitor, Jo, came with her daughter.

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Fun Fact: Me, Connie, Jo and my husband all went to the same high school back in the Philippines, so we all know each other.

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It was great to see them and spend time with them, catching up and talking, just like the old times! (Man, the nostalgia is strong on this one). Yes, I’m happy with where we’re all at right now, but I can’t help not to feel bad about myself. Why? Both Connie and Jo have great figures! Specially Jo! Man, she already has a kid, but she looks great and her daughter just looks like her little sister. When the topic of weight came up, I literally wanted to cry. Both ladies only weighed less than 115 lbs, while I weighed more than 120 lbs. It might seem not that big of a difference, but you should have seen how toned they look. They’re not skinny, but they’re not fat either. Whereas when I look at myself and see my flabby arms and belly and the fact that I’m short… well, it makes me look like a propane tank in my husband’s eyes. (This is a joke, but eh… jokes are half meant. Lol.)

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I am in no way body shaming any of these ladies or myself for that matter, per se. Let’s just say that this is me, raising my awareness about myself. You see, I’m a low maintenance type of girl. Most of the time, I don’t give a crap about how people see me. I don’t care if they call me fat or ugly. After all, it is their opinion and it is their perspective, so I respect that. Plus, as long as I’m the most beautiful lady in my hubby’s eyes, then I don’t have to worry about anything, lol. But of course, I don’t just stand idly by when I see people body shaming other people.

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Anyway, I don’t want to be skinny that I look sick. I just want my fats to disappear. You know how hard it is at work for me after lunch? I can’t even sit down after eating a freakin’ salad because I feel soooooooooo bloated! Sometimes, I even have a hard time breathing because of this. I know most people, if not everyone, gets bloated but mine is different. I get bloated so fast even though I just drank water or eat a light salad for lunch. I hate it soooooo much. I want to lose these fats so I can fit on my dresses again and not worry about my belly. (Well, it’s a different story if it’s not a belly fat, but a baby on the way. *wink, wink*)

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So, with that said… I need to start motivating and disciplining myself to start losing these fats. Walking is not enough. I need to do something that will burn these fats away. World, please send me some motivation and energy to start doing more rigorous exercises, please.

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Oh, yeah. Here’s something I got from the movie, My Big Love. We can also apply these steps in real life and not just exercising. Lol.

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Aira Capistrano’s 5 steps ng pagpapapayat:

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Okay. My goal is to lose some fats, that’s a start. Okay, cool. Step 1 is covered. As for step 2….

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I’ll just start tomorrow. I’m not yet ready to start today. xD