This post is actually for those people who were put under the impression that I’m expecting a baby soon, due to my previous post: To my number 1 reader.
I apologize if you thought that I’m having a baby, but I’m sorry to burst your bubbles because I’m not having one yet (bummer. :/). When I wrote that post, I was thinking way into the future where I already have a kid. And I was so lost in that moment and couldn’t contain my happiness of actually meeting that special kid, hence why I said I can’t wait to see and meet them. And oh, yes I love him/her. Even if they’re unborn yet. Is it weird to love someone who’s not even born yet? I don’t know about other people, but I don’t think that way.
Long story short:
No, I’m not pregnant yet.
But I want to talk about one thing in regards to being pregnant.
“Are you pregnant?”
This is one question that I hate the most. Especially when it comes from people that I don’t really like. It’s not that I don’t want to be pregnant; I’m actually excited to be one and I can’t wait to actually be expecting for a little angel. But don’t you hate it when every time you get together with your relatives, this is the ONLY thing that they ask you about?
I have relatives: an aunt and uncle, who, every time they get to see me and my husband, ask if we’re already pregnant.
Every.
Single.
Time.
It’s exasperating. And then, if that question is not enough, they would follow it with another statement along the lines of: “oh, maybe you’re just hiding it from us” to “you’re not getting any younger. You should have four by now.” Why would I hide it? I’m married, people. I don’t need to hide it if I’m pregnant. And really? 4 kids? We’ve only been married for 4 years. Do they expect me to get pregnant every year? *shakes head*
This may sound like I’m complaining, but really, I’m just frustrated. I don’t understand why some people think that being pregnant or having kids are some kind of a race. Or there’s a universal schedule that we all need to follow. A schedule that if you don’t get pregnant at a certain age, your womb would just deteriorate or explode and there goes your chances to give birth. Or if you don’t get married at a certain age, then you’ll be an old maid or yada yada yada. I know it gets difficult to bear a child at a certain age, but the possibility of childbirth doesn’t go away, right? And they you don’t get married at a certain age, maybe it’s because they haven’t found that special person whom they would like to spend the rest of their lives. Or maybe some people just don’t believe in marriage but are living their lives with their special someones.
The point is, everyone has their own time. Their own schedule to follow. Please don’t shove down our throats your own schedule. We are merely following our own. Our own journey.
Please, everyone. I’m not asking you to stop asking this question. But rather, I want to ask all of you to be considerate and kind to those people who you ask the question to. You don’t know what those people are feeling or what they’re going through on their lives right now. For all we know, they might be struggling through a phase in their lives where conceiving a child is not easy, or worst, the possibility of them conceiving one is gone. Sure, some of them might just laugh it off when asked, but you don’t know how it makes them feel inside. And yes, you might just be excited, but slow down on asking the same question. Perhaps, you can try asking them a different question. Questions like: “is everything okay?” or “is there something you’re stressed about?”. Anything, people. Just don’t start off the bat with the “are you pregnant?” question. It’s adding more stress to couples who want to conceive.
I try not to stress too much about this matter because we’re trying and stress is one of the factors that make it hard to conceive. But it’s hard not to be affected when you’re subjected to such pressure. Every time I get to see my relatives and they ask me that question, I feel all these negative emotions that sometimes I just wish that they would shut up (I’m soooo mean. >.<). Sometimes, I would just shrug them off or avoid interacting with them altogether.
So, yeah. Please be considerate and kind when asking this question, people. Practice compassion and just send love and your good wishes to couples like us who can’t wait to have a child.
But for now, me and the hubby are just going with the flow and enjoying our lives together. We know, someday, God will give us the gift of life in his own time.
And hey, when we do get pregnant, I’ll let the whole world know! Having a baby is a blessing, and I don’t have any reasons to hide it. We’ll be the happiest person in the world then!
Ayana's corner! 